After yet another failure in social interaction, I am asking myself what am I doing? I won't go into detail about it, but someone was really insensitive. Yet when I spoke up about it, they were even worse. This is the second time someone has been mule headed when I have said something. Clearly, speaking up does not work. Speaking up means you get shoved aside.
Silly me, I actually thought that people cared if they offended someone or not. I am learning this is not the case. It's not that anyone wants to be deliberately offensive, it's probably just that once they realize that they were offensive, they fall all over themselves to show you how "sensitive" their original argument actually was. And it is both hilarious and sad at the same time.
Yet, here is what I find myself thinking about. I keep thinking about how there is almost no difference between "me" and "you". There is rarely a difference between "myself" and "other". I have been insensitive. I have been stupid, thoughtless and mule headed. Rarely have I been cruel. So, maybe there is a huge difference between "me" and "other". If cruelty is involved, then there is almost definitely an "other". Why then, is it that people with good hearts, people who truly do not want to hurt anyone, people worth knowing, always lose? How is it that manipulation frequently wins over sincerity? Why don't people see what is usually so obvious?
Why are there so many lines that divide us? Christian vs not. White vs black vs Asian and latino. Who are we? Are we a people so terrified of what we are not that we have to draw a circle around who and what we ARE?
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